Physics Puns

Here are top picks for physics puns.  Share them with your favorite physicists!  If you know of any physics puns that are not on our list please share them in the comments section.

Physics Puns

  • You matter, until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared.  Then you energy.
  • The Heineken Uncertainty Principle says “You can never be sure how many drinks you had the night before.”
  • I’m not lazy I’m overflowing with potential energy.
  • Entropy isn’t what it used to be…
  • Calculating frequency is so easy it hertz.
  • Anger is neither created nor conserved but only changed from one form to another.
  • Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
  • There is a sign in Munich that says, “Heisenberg might have slept here.”
  • Einstein developed a theory about space and it was about time too!
  • Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!
  • A physicist’s favorite bumper sticker: “Absolute zero is cool!”
  • Home is where your displacement is zero.

Physics Pun Jokes

Q: Did you hear about the chemist that froze himself to absolute zero?
A: He’s 0K now.

Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms

Q: What did the electrical engineer say when he accidentally shocked himself?
A: OWW, that hertz!

Q: When was Heisenberg born?
A: This is very uncertain.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the same side.

Q: Does light have mass?
A: Of course not. It’s not even Catholic.

Q: What did the Nuclear Physicist have for lunch?
A: Fission Chips.

Q: Two kittens are on a roof, which one falls off first?
A: The one with the lowest mew.

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it’s in the ground state.

Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In prism.

Q: What do you call an Atom when it dies?
A: A Diatom.

Q: What happens when electrons lose their energy?
A: They get Bohr’ed.

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games?
A: The ‘wave’.

Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
A: Quark, quark, quark!

Q: Why is electricity an ideal citizen?
A: Because it conducts itself so well.

Q: How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the bulb the other to rotate the universe.

A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks, “Can I help you with your luggage.
It replies, “I don’t have any. I always travel light.”

A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer” he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
“How much will that be?” asks the neutron.
“For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge”

The bartender says, “We don’t serve tachyons here.”
A tachyon walks into a bar.

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